Feb 24 2010
5.10 Writing News Stories 4
Recent rise in drinking at fraternity parties has lead to two student’s deaths, one at MIT and one at LSU, and others in the hospital from alcohol poisoning.
Early Sunday morning at separate times, three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to the hospital and one remains in critical condition. The current University policy has alcohol banned from fraternity houses located on campus property or within campus environs.
A representative of the University confirmed that the ABZ students were diagnosed with alcohol poisoning. The representative cites, “Our initial investigation indicates that these young men were at a party in the ABZ house. A number of witnesses say alcohol was being consumed by them. Based on that we are suspending the fraternity and all its activities on campus. We have not decided how long the suspension will last.” Jan Mize in the university public relations department commented that usually these circumstances results in about a year suspension.
Interfraternity Council president Bart Addison issued a statement, “We wholeheartedly agree with President Smithville that alcohol has no place at fraternity parties.” Addison also commented, “However, I do not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few.”
Addison is planning on asking for President Smithville’s reconsidering of the suspension. To discourage other students from drinking at fraternity houses the University might increase its police patrols of fraternity houses on the weekends.
1. That’s a good try at a summary lead, but I think that the events at MIT and LSU are too unrelated to the news story at this university — try just leading with the local news.
2. You are overusing (and misattributing) the university’s statement. Pick out the most important stuff from that rather than reprinting the whole thing.
3. Addison’s two statements seem to have come at different times; don’t combine them.
4. Take a look at how Stovall says a quote should be organized: “Quote,” Source’s Name said.
1. I would include the student’s names, particularly the local student.
2. When referring to President Smithville the second time, just use Smithville as reference. See pg 224 in AP Stylebook.
3. Maybe include the fact that Amalek is still listed in critical condition.