Feb 19 2010
5.5 Leads and Second Paragraphs 2- Homework
Angry group of 25 committed Christians plan to express their objection over University teaching an evolution class.
The angry group of citizens led by Wilbur Straking, pastor of the Ever-Faithful Church of the Living Water, commented that he plans to, “speak with legislators about this problem,” of teaching evolution at the University next Monday. Laura Cliff, associate professor of biology, teaches the class that is being objected to by the group of Christians. Both the professor and the president of the university would not comment.
That quote doesn’t really do that much work. And the lead includes good info, but is poorly written. “AN angry group of 25 committed Christians planS to express ITS objection TO THE University teaching a CLASS ON EVOLUTION.” Several extra commas littering the prose. 3/5.